Looking out on the construction site just below me on the hillside today, I was reminded of the waggish comment that the most common bird to be found in Spain is the Builder’s Crane. This, in turn, brought back to mind a blog of early 2005 in which I’d said two new houses near me seemed to be going up much more quickly than usual. Well, it’s 15 months later and neither of them is yet finished. At a complete guess, I’d say one of them has 3 months to go and the other maybe 6. So, pretty slow but still below the average of 2 years I’ve occasionally suggested. Maybe I’ve been too harsh.

A luxury brothel with a difference is being opened in Valencia. It’s exclusively for women, with the target clientele being ‘professional, single and free [liberal?]’. The owner says one of the major differences between men and women is that women like to stay quiet about using a bordello, whereas men like to boast of it. True enough for Spain, I would say, but not for all cultures.

I was talking the other day about nationalists not having a sense of proportion. Or of the ridiculous, apparently. The Andalucian government is reported to have set aside funds to promote the ‘language’ of the region elsewhere in Spain. Since the Andaluz dialect is impenetrable even to many Spaniards, this is akin to a Midlands government in the UK promoting the use of Brum in London. Only worse, as at least one can understand Brum.

I’m contemplating getting one of those TV-B-Gone zappers to switch off the TV no one’s watching when I’m trying to read the papers in my regular café. Though what I’d really like is an Idiot-B-Silent gadget for people who confuse shouting with talking and insist on letting us all in on the details of their lives. Even better would be a Smoker-B-Vaporised machine. But I’m possibly getting fanciful now.

And on the subject of smoking – the head waiter in my café now tells me they think they’ll avoid the need to provide a closed-off smoking area by excluding from the calculation of a ‘bar of more than 100m2’ the toilets, the kitchen, the area behind the counter and all the passageways. If you’re wondering what’s left, it’s the footprint of each table multiplied by the number of tables. It’s hard to believe this is what the legislators had in mind but I certainly wouldn’t bet on it not happening.