There was a very strange incident near my home the other day. A woman who was robbed of a few coins reported the incident to the police, who followed it up and caught the thief. In the UK, with petty crime of this sort you’d be lucky to get even a police report for an insurance claim. Though you might just receive a pamphlet on how to cope with your victim status. Unless it was a ‘race crime’, in which case the police would go in with all guns blazing. Possibly against you, if you were foolish enough to make an injudicious comment about the thief.

And another local positive – the council may well be surrounding the city with vertiginous speed bumps and un-negotiable roundabouts but the verdant aesthetics of these things are truly impressive. Along with the pedestrianisation of the last 5 years, they’ve certainly made the city an even pleasanter place in which to walk, shop, eat and drink. A far cry from the UK town centres so vandalised by the local politicians, business chains and drunken yobs.

I’ve said before Spain seems to be the capital of the cosmetic surgery world. And its apogee is reconstruction of the hymen for imminent brides of Muslims and gypsies. Even for divorced women who wish to ‘make a gesture’ in the direction of the groom’s cultural/religious sensitivities. For ladies considering a more common or garden procedure, the latest in-your-face ad features a scantily dressed woman of stupendous proportions who has arrows pointing to relevant parts of her body. Believe it or believe it not, these are accompanied by Look, what a face! Look, what a chest! Look, what a bum! and Look, what great legs! You get the picture. Needless to say, the killer line is ‘You, too, can look young again’.

A survey of the cost of living around Spain puts the three Galician cities of Pontevedra, Vigo and Ourense are in the bottom five. On the other hand, both meat and fish are more expensive in La Coruña than anywhere else in the country. As the city is a port surrounded by fishing villages, this is hard to credit. At least as regards the fish. Windy, cloudy and expensive. Not a place I would choose but it seems to be popular with Brits. Must remind them of home.

Oops. Mushing turns out to be an English word and not of the same gerundive genre as footing, (e)stretching, (e)spinning and puenting. My thanks to Afonso for pointing this out. But an easy mistake, I insist.

Stop Press
Exciting news. I’ve been contacted by an important Scots woman [Patricia Ferguson] who wants me to help her deal with a large sum of money. I know how Scottish MPs operate so it must be genuine ….. Here’s her opening paragraph, in all its glory:-

How are you and the Family?I am Patricia Ferguson,Member of the Scottish
Parliament(MSP) and Scottish minister for Tourism,Culture and Sport,my
contact with you via this mail is as a matter of urgency and strict
confidentiality.This is by virtue of my status as a well dignified woman
in the society and as a Member of the Scottish Parliament,particularly as
the Scottish Minister for Tourism,Culture and Sport.