In the early 1900s, an outstanding Spanish electrical engineer emigrated to the USA, changed his name to Collins and invented an excellent X-ray machine. He then joined a major company and developed the world's first mobile phone. Sadly, the device had a tendency to overheat and burst into flames after 15 minutes. When Collins tried to hide this, he was jailed for fraud. Returning in due course to Spain, he set up a technology centre in his home town. Why don't we know more about him?

Somewhat more famous is the clever polymath (is there an un-clever polymath?) Stephen Fry, who's hardly ever off the TV. I think we all knew he was a bipolar sufferer (as manic depression is now called) but now he's come out and admitted to attempted suicide last year. His second, despite his fame and fortune and his status as a UK 'national treasure'. Well, I can empathise with that, though mine was a lot less dramatic and serious than his. Which doesn't mean I'm not nice to know. As with him.

Still on famous folk . . . I see the Roy Rogers museum in the USA has closed. I saw him perform in Liverpool years ago, when he was still alive. But I remember his horse, Trigger, rather more than I recall Roy or his wife, Dale.

Which reminds me . . . Sex in the City's Kim Cattrall turns out to be a Scouser. Who'd have thought it?

At 85, Tom Sharpe has shuffled off this mortal coil up in Cataluña, where he lived for some years in retirement. Quite possibly the funniest author ever, at least in English. But I don't know whether to be impressed or depressed by the fact he never learnt a word of either Spanish or Catalan. Either way, I must return to my bookshelves for a reprise.

Having mentioned TV . . . Here's a comment of the German guy who wrote the book on the Camino I mentioned last week: German TV is often dismissed as pathetic and trivial but it doesn't hold a candle to Spanish TV in either respect. I can't say I have much difficulty agreeing with that, even though I haven't seen much German TV.

He also wrote that "Good jokes have one thing in common: wisdom, coupled with a dose of love and fear. Humour has to come up from the belly and it should open and broaden your perspective." Which sounds fair enough to me. And a good prelude to this Spanish joke sent to me today by a friend:

NEW REQUIREMENTS FOR RECEIVING A PENSION

As announced, the commission formed of members of all parliamentary groups, the unions and industry representatives has agreed ten basic requirements for guaranteeing receipt of a pension to workers who've reached retirement age in years to come. The conditions necessary for receiving a 100% pension are:

1. Being 79 years old at the time of retirement, with a life expectancy of no more than 2 years.

2. Having contributed uninterruptedly throughout 69 years of work.

3. Having always attended work punctually. A certificate signed by parents or tutors will be required.

4. Never having taken any sick or maternity/paternity leave.

5. Being able to do 30 pull-ups on a fixed bar, with 1 or 2 hands.

6. Being able to stay under water for 12 minutes without breathing.

7. Still having all your teeth, even milk teeth, whether in your gums or in a box.

8. Not having more than 3 moles on your arms and forearms.

9. For men, still having 85% of the hair you had at 9 and for women having had at least two girls born in Elche.

10. Having a CCC diploma gained for practical work, with your hands tied.

Your pension will reduce 20% for each criterion not complied with, so that with 6 or more, the worker will be obliged to donate to the State the relevant part of the quota, though only until death. The unions were immovable on this point.

Hope that raised a smile at least. If not this might:- A statement as to the commercial value of this my web page reads: www.colindavies.net has a global traffic ranking of 14,543,409 in the world. This site has an estimated worth of 8.95 US dollars and has a daily income of around 0.15 US dollars. So, any buyers?